


Is It Still A Birthday?

by Awesome_Sauce432



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Birthdays, Everyone else only shows up in flashbacks, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Pidge-Centric, Post S1 finale, and as trash puppets, now AU, written before season 2 aired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 21:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9143365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awesome_Sauce432/pseuds/Awesome_Sauce432
Summary: She has always loved birthdays. Blowing out the candles, eating cake, opening presents. The simple feeling of celebration, with her family and friends around her, was her favourite part.But in space, she has no candles. No presents, no cake. No family, and no friends.But she still has a birthday to celebrate.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!! This fic was written before Season 2 aired, which is why it doesn't fit in with canon. But I'm still pretty happy with it! It also originally had the wrong birthdays of most of the Paladins, but as of today (July 9th) it's been updated to have all the correct birthdays that we know of! Once we get a confirmation on Keith's birthday, (which I personally headcanon to be August 22) I'll update it so that's correct too!

Pidge grunted, pushing the stacks of metal and prototypes of machines as far back as possible, until they were scratching the walls of the inside of the Green Lion.

 

“There. Plenty of room.” She stood back, admiring her handiwork. It had taken far longer than she had expected, but she had finally cleared a decent amount of space in the middle of the cockpit. The pilots chair was pushed back, unused for far too long.

 

Pidge paused, a finger on her chin.

 

“What to use for a table...” She glanced around at the piles of machines scattered around, finding none that were suitable.

 

“Hmm... looks like it’s back outside I go.” She sighed, flicking the button that dropped the visor on her helmet.

 

* * *

 

 

“Blow out the candles Katie!” Her mother said, one hand placed encouragingly on the little girl’s back.

 

Katie blew, as hard as she could. Three of the five candles flickered out, while two remained strong. She began to drew in breath to try again, when someone else blew them out for her.

 

“Matt!” She pouted, glaring at her elder brother, who merely grinned, pleased that he had beaten his sister to blowing out her own candles.

 

“Matt, those were your sisters candles.” Their mother said.

 

“No matter Katie, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to blow out Matt’s candles on his birthday.” Their father said, winking. That put a smile back on Katie’s face, and soon all thoughts were turned to cutting the cake.

 

“Hey! You don’t get to blow out my candles!” Matt said, shocked at this sudden turn of events.

 

“Then you shouldn’t have blown out Katie’s. From now on, she gets to blow out two of your candles every birthday.” Mom said, with the commanding tone of voice that meant there would be no arguing. Matt scowled as best as a young boy could, unable to accept that he had brought his loss of candles upon himself.

 

Katie, meanwhile, rejoiced. Getting to blow out two of Matt’s candles every year? It was the best revenge a five-year-old could imagine. Birthday candles were _sacred_.

 

“Well, if you three are done discussing the intricacies of candle blowing, I’ve cut the cake!” Dad said, handing out plates to all of them. Katie got the biggest piece, despite Matt attempting to swipe it.

 

* * *

 

 

Pidge shook her head, looking down at a mangled piece of metal.

 

“Too big... and the one before was too small, before that was too bumpy... So much trash, but not one decent table!” She exclaimed, kicking at the rejected piece of metal.

 

It sent both her and the metal in different directions, and for a few moments Pidge floated in zero gravity, her arms folded and a scowl on her face. Then she switched on her jackpack, flying towards another promising-looking piece of metal.

 

After rejecting another seven possibilities, she spied something floating in her peripheral vision.

 

“A blanket?” She flew towards it, discovering that it was indeed a soft blue blanket. There were a lot of small holes in it, and floating in space hadn’t done it any favours, but it was mostly intact, made of some strangely soft material (though she could only feel it through the gloves of her suit).

 

“Tablecloth... an important part of any table.” She said, a grin forming on her face.

 

“It’ll be an extra surprise!” She gathered up the blanket, being careful not to damage it any further.

 

“But a tablecloth is useless without a table.” She thought, hoisting the blanket over her shoulder and continuing to search through the wreckage of broken ships for the perfect table.

 

* * *

 

 

“Faster Dad, faster!” She shouted, bending her knees and staring straight ahead. Her cheeks were flushed a bright red, and her knees and elbows already had scrapes on them. 

 

“Are you sure?” Dad asked, raising an eyebrow. Katie nodded vigorously, nearly losing her balance on her skates.

 

“Yes! It’s my birthday, so you’ve got to do it.” She said.

 

“You can’t deny a birthday wish, Dad.” Matt said solemnly, skating smoothly next to them.

 

“Alright Katie, get ready! Matt, on three!” Her father laughed, pulling his arm back. On her other side, Matt did the same, and Katie loosened her grip on their hands, ready to be launched.

 

“One... two... three!” Both Dad and Matt pushed forward, their momentum sending Katie forward at a speed she couldn’t hope to manage on her own.

 

She laughed and shouted, not stopping even as she slammed into the wall of the roller rink and fell to the ground. Her knees ached, and the wind had been knocked out of her, but it had been brilliant! A few other people nearby watched her fall, but continued their own skating when they saw she wasn’t hurt. Dad and Matt skated up to her, looking slightly concerned but mostly amused.

“Katie, you’re supposed to turn!” Matt skated over, a grin blossoming on his face.

 

“I don’t know how!” She protested, her words punctuated by giggles.

 

“We launched you pretty far. All that working out must be paying off.” Dad said, holding up his arms and pretending to show off his muscles.

 

“What working out?” Matt said, rolling his eyes.

 

“You don’t work out, Dad!” Katie laughed, her attempts to stand up constantly thwarted by gravity. Each time she got close, her skates would slip and her legs would slip out from underneath her, sending her crashing back to the ground. But it barely hurt, because she was having far too much fun.

 

“Here you go Katie. Now, lets see if we can’t teach you to turn.” Dad held out a hand, gently lifting Katie up onto her feet.

 

* * *

 

 

Pidge kicked at the broken table, struggling to get it into the Green Lion. It was the best she could find, being half of an original table that had been sliced up somehow.

 

“Ngh-come on!” She kicked at it a few more times, using her jetpack to create leverage. She finally managed to get it in where the Green Lion provided artificial gravity. After that, it was a matter of pushing it along the ground.

 

“Sorry Green, you’re going to have to scratches...” She said, patting the wall of the Lion apologetically. The Lion was silent, and Pidge pulled her hand away, sighing. 

 

“I’ll just have to upgrade your scanners too make up for it, or maybe your thrusters. Then you’ll be able to go faster than Red.” She continued to push the table, enjoying the thought of leaving Keith and the Red Lion in their dust.

 

Eventually it was in position, and she pulled out the blanket she had found again, laying it over the table. It didn’t fit exactly, and some of the metal was still exposed, but it would do the job.

 

She stood back, surveying her handiwork.

 

“Hmm... that’s about as perfect as it will get, I suppose.” She said, turning around to exit the Lion again. Her grunt work was far from over.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hang on Matt, let me get my camera out before you blow out the candles!” Mom left the room.

 

Both Matt and Katie groaned, wondering how long it would take their mother to find the camera in amongst the mess that was the master bedroom. It was their fathers fault more than their mothers, and normally none of them minded, but today was different. Today was important!

 

Matt amused himself by eyeing the small pile of presents, guessing loudly on what might be in them, while Katie watched the tiny flames flickering on the candles. Fifteen of them. Matt seemed so old, at least in her mind. Her eyes flitted from candle to candle, trying to decide her favourites.

 

The cake was in the shape of the rocket ship, and she eventually settled on the two at the very top of it. They were side by side, and they seemed to shine the brightest of them all.

 

“Found it!” Their mother reappeared, holding the camera victoriously over her head. Both children and father cheered, and Matt took his place in the seat of honour, while Katie ducked around to the other side of the table.

 

“Alright everyone, smile!” Mom snapped a few photos, and with each one Katie became more and more impatient.

 

“Hurry up! My face hurts from smiling!” She complained.

 

“Okay, that’s the last one. Now, get ready Matt!” Mom said. Matt drew in a huge breath. He and Katie locked eyes, just for a moment.

 

Quick as a flash, Katie leaned in, blowing out her two favourite candles before darting back again, grinning.

 

“Katie!” Matt shouted. Their parents began to laugh.

 

“She’s beaten you again!” Dad said, clapping Matt on the back. The teen threw a half-serious glare in Katie’s direction, before quickly blowing out all the other candles in one swoop.

 

* * *

 

 

“It’s a surprise.” Pidge said, pushing the trash puppet into place. Then she spoke again, her voice slightly lower and more exaggerated.

 

“Aw, can’t you just give us a hint?” She rustled the trash puppet a bit, before turning away.

 

“Nope. My lips are sealed. I won’t say another word.” She said in her normal voice, running her fingers along her mouth in a zipping gesture.

 

“Boo!”

 

“Shut up Lance.” Her lips quirked upwards into a smile that faltered the moment she stepped outside the Green Lion once again.

 

She flew through the space, landing near the other trash puppets that remained. Only Coran, Hunk and Shiro. They were three of the biggest, so they would probably have to be at least partially dismantled before they could be brought into the Green Lion.

 

She started with Coran, the easiest to take apart.

 

“Sorry Coran. I promise I’ll put you back together.” She said, wincing as she undid some of the screws that held his head onto the rest of him.

 

“Is there a safer way to get into the Green Lion? Can I just stay outside?” Her voice was lower now, brimming with fake nerves.

 

“No. You’re coming and that’s final.” Pidge said, nodding in Hunk’s direction to make sure he understood.

 

“Don’t worry Hunk, she knows what she’s doing.”

 

“See? Shiro believes in me. Besides, I got all the others inside and Allura only lost part of her hair, and Keith lost an arm. That’s all.”

 

“Keith lost an arm?” Her voice was louder, and there was a small burst of static from the communicator in her helmet. Pidge winced, pausing for a moment. She half-expected there to be someone else talking after the static, but there never was.

 

“I screwed it back on.” She finally said, her voice more subdued. She finished taking Coran apart, dragging him towards the Green Lion. She glanced back over her shoulder, eyes narrowing and smirking.

 

“You’re next Hunk.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Woah!” Katie pressed her face up against the glass, gaping in amazement. Behind her, Dad and Matt chuckled.

 

“It’s just a simulator Katie. It’s not as exciting once you’re inside, trust me.” Matt said, grinning.

 

“But it’s a space simulator! What kind of simulations do you do? Have you been to Mars? Venus? No, you can’t really go to Venus, it’s a gas planet, and also very dangerous. What about Pluto?” Katie began to ramble, and her brother and father listened for a while before finally cutting her off.

 

“We’ve been to a lot of places in the simulator. Mostly moons, like our Moon and some of Jupiter’s. My personal favourite is Io.” Dad said, looking very proud.

 

“Io? Io was terrible. Europa was the best.” Matt said.

 

“I think we’ll have to agree to disagree there.” Dad said, looking very solemn. Then his face lit up.

 

“Want to see the mess hall, Katie? They make wonderful peas!” He said, grinning.

 

“Yeah!” Katie shouted, practically jumping everywhere she went.

 

They walked for a while, with Katie being interested at everything she saw, and Dad and Matt being more than happy to supply countless stories about them. A few people stopped and said hello to them, but for the most part they were alone.

 

Until Katie, running slightly ahead of her family, rounded a corner and straight into a tall, large and imposing man.

 

“Who are you? How did you get in here?” His voice was gruff, and for a moment Katie opened her mouth without any words coming out.

 

“Commander Iverson! A pleasure to see you this fine day.” Dad said, rounding the corner. “I see you’ve met my daughter, Katie. It’s her twelfth birthday today, so we thought we’d give her the grand tour. We received clearance for it, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

 

“She wants to join the Garrison someday.” Matt added. At these words, Iverson nodded, seeming to soften a bit.

 

“I see. Well, if you want to make it into the Garrison, you’ll have to work extremely hard. Though... if you’re anything like your family, I’m sure it will come easily. You have a lot to live up to.” He said, seeming to think that he was imparting some very important wisdom. Unfortunately for him, Katie did not think much of his words. She was already looking past him, hoping to catch a glimpse of what lay in the hallway ahead.

 

She already knew she’d have to work hard in the Garrison, and she already knew she could do it. All of the stories Dad and Matt had told her, it was what she wanted to do. Someday she would. The second she was able, she was enlisting, that was for sure.

 

“Thank you Sir.” She said, not wanting to disrespect a possible commanding officer, despite not thinking much of him.

 

“Very well then, carry on.” Iverson nodded again before striding away.

 

“Now he didn’t even wish you a happy birthday.” Dad said, shaking his head and smiling.

 

“I don’t think he knows what birthdays are.” Matt rolled his eyes. “You don’t need to worry about him, Katie. He just acts tough to scare the recruits.”

 

“Speaking of recruits, I think there should be a batch of them training on the deck right now.” Dad said, a finger on his chin.

 

“Can we go watch?” Katie asked, her eyes wide.

 

“Sure, Katie.”

 

* * *

 

 

Pidge rummaged through the small box where she kept all of her rations. Despite her careful planning, it was still nearly empty. She would have to go searching through the wrecked ships again. The longer she was in the trash nebula, the farther from the Green Lion she had had to search.

 

“Good thing I haven’t eaten in a while. It’ll be extra special.” She said, pulling out a small container. It was sealed tight, having not been opened in who-knew-how-long. Hopefully it wasn’t totally disgusting, though she’d eat it anyway.

 

Tucking the container under her arm, she shuffled to the left, trying to avoid knocking over anything in the cockpit of the Lion.

 

“It’s getting very crowded in here.” She muttered, before standing up and turning around. “All of you are going back outside once this is done!” She addressed the trash puppets, which were all seated around the table.

 

“And no buts. I can’t fly the Green Lion if you guys are in the way. Not that the Green Lion can really fly right now...” She said the last part under her breath. It had been at least two weeks since she had even heard a purr from the Green Lion, deactivated to save what little power it had left.

 

She turned back to what she had been doing.

 

“Come on, it’s got to be around here somewhere...” She pushed aside scraps of metal and mangled prototypes of devices that may or may not help her get out of this trash nebula.

 

Finally, she found what she had been looking for. A grin spread across her face, and she tested to make sure it still worked properly.

 

“Perfect.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Katie, I’ve got a surprise for you!” Mom said.

 

“What is it?” Katie brightened up, eager for anything to distract her.

 

“Well, your father and brother knew they’d probably miss your fourteenth birthday. So they gave me this, and told me to give it to you on your birthday.” Mom pulled out two envelopes from behind her back. Instantly, Katie leapt.

 

“What!? Why didn’t they give them to me?”

 

“Because they knew you’d try to open them beforehand.” Mom chuckled. Katie pouted, knowing that they were right.

 

“But, today I can give them to you.” Mom handed Katie the two envelopes, and she ripped them open like a hungry wolf.

 

The first she opened was from her father.

 

_Dear Katie,_

_Happy birthday! I wish we could both be there, but instead we’ll probably be nearly to Kerberos! So know that we’re both sending birthday wishes to you from out in space, even if time might be a little wonky up here._

_Since I’m writing this before we leave, there won’t be any amazing stories of what we’ve seen. That will come when we get back. Hopefully before your fifteenth birthday! Then we’ll be able to be there when you apply for early admission to the Garrison. I know you’ll get in._

_So don’t worry. Even though we’ll be far away, You’ll still be in our thoughts._

_So happy fourteenth birthday, Katie. I’m so proud of you, and I know your mother is as well. Just wait, and someday you’ll be writing letters like this to us, apologising because you’ll be in space too, going even further than Kerberos. Maybe even outside of the solar system!_

_Love,_

_Dad_

_P.S. Tell your mother that no matter how good the Garrison makes food, nothing can beat her homemade lasagne. I’m sure we’re both missing it terribly!_

Katie sniffed. She couldn’t cry now, she still had a whole other card to read. Mom circled around, putting a gentle arm on her shoulder. Katie rubbed her eyes, opening the second card and reading.

 

_Dear Katie,_

_Happy birthday! It sucks we can’t be there, but I hope having these letters in the next best thing. I’m trying to get permission to allow you to radio us at the Garrison, but so far I’ve been denied every time. Only authorised scientists and officials can use it apparently. But I’ll keep trying, because I know you’d love it._

_But in case I don’t manage it, I’ll write down everything I want to say here as well._

_First, you’ve only got one more year to go before you can apply for early admission. If anyone can get it, it will be you. Even if you didn’t have astronauts in your family, no one can beat you. The Garrison will be lucky to have you._

_Once we get back, we might even be able to train with you. Well, not at first, we don’t want it to seem like you get special treatment. You’d hate that. But once you graduate from being a cadet, you’ll probably be assigned to a mission right away, and then we’ll be able to train together! We might even get to go on a mission together! It will be just like home, except on a spaceship, and minus Mom’s cooking._

_Don’t listen to what Dad says, Garrison food is terrible._

_I’m starting to run out of room on this card, so I’ll try to be brief from now on. Even though we haven’t left yet, I already miss you. I can only imagine how I’ll feel once your actual birthday comes. I wish I could be there, or that you could be up here with us. But I guess someone needs to stay home to keep Mom company._

_I hope you don’t stop working on all of your projects. I expect at least a dozen completed by the time I get back, whenever that is. Then we’ll be able to celebrate properly. But until then, this letter will have to do. I hope you like it._

_Love,_

_Matt_

Now Katie couldn’t stop it. Tears began to stream down her face, and she turned, hugging her mother as hard as she could.

 

“W-why wou-ld they write-su-such sad letters?” She hiccupped through her words, trying to stop crying and failing miserably.

 

Mom didn’t say anything, simply hugging her daughter.

 

“I miss them so much!”

 

“I know Katie, I miss them too. But they’ll come back, and then we’ll have a massive party for all of the birthdays they missed.” Mom said, a small smile playing on her face. But even through her blurred vision, Katie could see her eyes shining.

 

“A-and all the ones we missed, right?” Katie rubbed her eyes, which quickly became useless as her hands became just as wet as her eyes.

 

“Yes. All of them.”

 

* * *

 

 

Pidge took off her helmet, placing it down next to her.

 

Pulling up a holographic screen on her armour, she glanced at the stopwatch.

 

“Three hundred and ninety eight hours, seventeen minutes... eighteen minutes...” She sighed. She had been keeping the stopwatch going ever since she had exited the wormhole.

 

At first it had been a joke, so that when she was found she could yell at the others about how long they had taken. Now, approaching four hundred hours, it didn’t seem very funny anymore. Now it was her only way of telling the time.

 

“Nearly seventeen days.” That wasn’t too long. Only a little over two weeks. People had been left alone for longer.

 

Then why did it hurt so much?

 

She put down the countdown. Still about ten hours before she could start. Plenty of time to work on one of the many devices littered around. Possible ways of getting out of the trash nebula. That was all she could do.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey Pidge, do you know what day it is?” Pidge looked up from her work, seeing Lance standing in front of her.

 

“Huh?” Pidge tilted her head, confused. “We’re in space, there are no days.” She said, shrugging.

 

“No-I mean, w-what day is it on Earth?” Lance continued.

 

“On Earth? No... I-“ She paused, suddenly realising that she had no idea how much time had passed since they had gone into space. At least a month, she was sure. Uncertainty washed over her. Lance seemed to deflate.

 

“Oh, okay.” He looked so... dejected. He must be homesick. Maybe she was too. With so much going on, Pidge had barely had any time to think about home.

 

Mom... she must be all alone. How long had it been? She stood up, closing up her laptop.

 

“Let’s go see Allura. There’s got to be a way to figure it out.” She said, leaving the room with Lance following her.

 

They found Allura, who accessed the records of the medical pods, to figure out when she and Coran had been released from them. That gave them a rough idea of when Pidge and the others had arrived at the Castle.

 

Unfortunately, the time was given in ticks, which left Pidge, Allura and Lance with the task of trying to figure out how much faster seconds were relative to ticks. Once they figured that out, the math was a lot easier. At some point during the process, Hunk appeared, and soon became very interested.

 

“What day did we leave?” Pidge asked.

 

“Um, I’m pretty sure it was a Monday.” Lance said.

 

“No, wasn’t it a Sunday? And it was December.” Hunk said. Lance nodded in agreement at 'December' but wasn't convinced about everything else.

 

“What about the date?” Pidge asked, biting her lip and looking down at the numbers. They were... very high.

 

“Um... the fifteenth?”

 

“Wasn’t it the seventeenth?”

 

“I-I don’t remember!”

 

There were a few short moments of panic, as they realised that no one was sure what the date of their last day on Earth had been. A quick search of the castle to find Keith and Shiro. Neither of them were sure either. Shiro hadn't even known it was December. Allura was unfortunately unable to help in their attempt to remember. 

 

“Well, what about the sixteenth? It is in between those two numbers.” She suggested, obviously wishing she could be more helpful. Pidge nodded. It was better than nothing.

 

“The sixteenth of December. It’s been one thousand, nine hundred and four hours since then, which translates to seventy nine days, eight hours.” She paused once reading out the statistics. Seventy nine days. More than two and a half months.

 

“S-so, what day is it now?” Hunk asked, his voice hesitant.

 

“Well... assuming it is actually the sixteenth...” She paused to do the math. “March the fourth.”

 

“March?” Lance looked shocked. “Hunk! We missed your birthday!”

 

“I'm already eighteen?” Hunk looked almost sick, while Allura looked on in confusion. Pidge looked down at the numbers. March the fourth... if that was today...

 

“Mine’s in a month.” She said, the words feeling dry in her mouth. That couldn’t be right. Her birthday couldn’t be so soon. It couldn’t.

 

“What? Isn’t your birthday in August?” Lance looked at her like she’d sprung a second head.

 

“April the third. That’s my real birthday.” Pidge said, leaning back. She could feel her cheeks turning red. A false birthday on her Garrison profile. She still remembered the fake sixteenth birthday Lance and Hunk had tried to throw her.

 

“How old will you be turning?” Hunk asked.

 

“Fifteen.”

 

“You’re only fourteen?” Pidge nodded.

 

“You are only a child by Altean standards.” Allura was frowning.

 

“She’s still a child by our standards too.” Lance was frowning too. “We knew you were a squirt, but we didn’t know you were that young.”

 

“I thought you were fifteen when you joined the Garrison. Didn’t you get early admission?”

 

“I hacked my profile to change my age and birthday. It’s not a big deal.” She was feeling more and more uncomfortable by the second.

 

“Of course it’s a big deal! We already missed Hunk's birthday! We have to celebrate it!” Lance said, speaking suddenly and keeping his voice firm.

 

“What?" Hunk looked confused, but Lance kept going.

 

“Mine’s not until July. Keith’s is in August-“

 

“How do you know Keith’s birthday?” Hunk asked, a smirk playing on his face.

 

“It was important information to know, as his rival!” Lance protested, but Pidge wasn’t listening anymore.

 

A month. A month until her birthday. Would she still be in space by then? Zarkon seemed no closer to being defeated than he had ever been. She felt sick to her stomach.

 

Her birthday. They weren’t even sure if their calculations were correct. They could be off by a few days, or even a week. If Lance hadn’t asked, her birthday might have gone by and she would never have noticed.

 

And none of her family was here to share it.

 

* * *

 

 

She watched the second tick down.

 

Three... two... one... zero. As far as her clock was concerned, it was now officially the third of April.

 

“Happy birthday.” Pidge said, settling down at her place in the table. All of the trash puppets were silent, and she didn’t even feel like making them talk through her.

 

For a moment, she sat in silence. In front of her was the small container of rations, and in front of that was a tiny, irregular model of a spaceship. Fifteen tiny lights, salvaged from the dashboard of one ship, glowed brightly. Some flickered, while others stayed strong.

 

It was worse than she could have imagined. Not only did she not have her family, but she didn’t even have her friends, and the trash puppets didn’t count. All of them were scattered through space, their location unknown and unreachable to her.

 

The air was filled with silence, broken by a sharp hiss as she opened the container. A strange smell came out, but it wasn’t the telltale smell of rotten and expired food. At least one good thing.

 

But she couldn’t bring herself to eat it, even though her stomach rumbled.

 

“Mom... Dad... Matt... I hope I got the date right. Mom, you’ll know. You’re still on Earth. Alone.” She could feel tears begin to form in her eyes. She had talked to her friends a lot in her time spent alone, but never her family. That was a line she had refused to cross.

 

“So... assuming I got it right... I guess I’m fifteen now.” She wiped at her eyes, desperate to hold back the tears as long as possible.

 

“I-I wish you were here to see it. I wish somebody was here to see it.” She looked around the table, where the trash puppets sat silently, seeming to stare at her. She was tempted to speak in their voices, could feel words already forming, but she stopped herself. Not now.

 

She wiped her eyes again, blinking rapidly to try and get rid of the tears. Through blurry vision, she looked down at the tiny spaceship model.

 

“Time to blow out the candles.” She said, leaning forward and pushing a button. She had designed it that all of the lights would go out. But technology made using salvaged parts and half-broken wires could never have worked as expected.

 

She looked for just a moment, at the two lights that had refused to blink out. The two at the very top of the spaceship. And she broke.

 

The tears fell hard and fast, leaving wet spots on the blanket covering the table. Curling in on herself, Pidge cried for everything. For the missed birthdays, both her own and those of her friends and family. She cried for Keith’s birthday in August and Lance's in July, that she would probably miss too. For Hunk's, which they'd already missed. For her mother’s, her father’s, her brother’s. She cried because of her mother, left alone on Earth with only their dog for company. For Matt and Dad, somewhere in some Galran prison, either dead or alive and she would never know. For her friends, scattered across the universe.

She cried because she was alone, and she cried because the others might be alone. Her mother was alone, her father and brother might be alone.

 

She cried because she didn’t know. She hated that feeling, the uncertainty of not knowing where she was, or what the next day would bring, or even what day it was.

 

She cried, and she cried, and by the time she ran out of tears to cry she wasn’t ready to stop, and just sat there, sobbing.

 

She didn’t feel fifteen. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to be on Earth, with Dad and Matt safe and sound, Mom there, Rover there, maybe some of their extended family. But at the very least, those four had to be there.

 

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

 

She wasn’t supposed to turn fifteen stuck in space with no way out, alone except for puppets of her friends that were literally made out of garbage. Without having heard anyones voice but her own in nearly three weeks.

 

She wiped her eyes, despite all of her tears having dried up long ago. Nothing had changed around her. The Green Lion was still nonresponsive, nothing had moved. Feeling more alone than ever, she slowly began to eat the tiny meal that she had.

 

It wouldn’t do to starve on her birthday after all.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> There aren't enough Pidge fics on this website. I hope to change that. At least a little.


End file.
